A solo adventure to canada

This past year has been a weird one for me. It’s been a year where I felt like I was trying to figure myself out. Figure out what I want in life, figure out what I want in a partner again, figure out where I want to move after New York. Just a messy year where I felt like I kept feeling “stuck” and like I’m just so ready for a major change in my life but can’t figure out what that is yet. It’s felt like a year of working on undoing some patterns and thoughts I had before and it feels like I’m on the brink of that major change.

But through that has been a year of highs and also a lot more lows than I would have liked but as the Othership guide reminded us all today - “the highs in life wouldn’t be felt without the lows.” So true. And as I’ve gotten older, it’s become easier to reflect more on life and question what I want to do moving forward since time moves too damn fast. And as we all know, it’s only up to ourselves to make a change when we feel that it’s really needed.

So I originally had taken days off from work for a birthday trip (for a much different reason) that unfortunately fell through, but I decided that I was still going to use those days off but for a much different purpose.

To take a solo trip away from everything in New York. To process some thoughts that have been weighing heavy on me, to get away from the NYC anxiety that has felt so overwhelming recently and to a place where I could do wellness things that would bring me back to feeling centered again. And usually my first thought would be the beach. Yoga. Surfing. Totally disconnect. But I wanted to be in a place where I would also be motivated to work on things and to really think about my next step.

So that place I chose was Toronto. I had never been to Canada before and one positive thing that changed my life this past year was joining Othership in New York and adding the sauna/cold plunge routine to my life. And I knew that during this time where I want to get more clarity- I wanted that routine and that community in my life.

Toronto is where Othership started so I booked a place to stay walking distance from it, I found Jaybird hot yoga and pilates studio where every class is in the dark with candles (obvi obsessed already), and I wanted to try out the Nutbar cafe which is right next door to Othership. And I had no idea there is also a connection between Othership and Jaybird. When I initially googled “hot yoga studios” in Toronto and Jaybird came up- I saw the first thing on their website said “Nothing to see, Everything to feel” and I knew I needed that in my life. So every day is going to include a Jaybird class followed by an Othership class. Two city sanctuaries. And a run or walk by the water. My own Toronto wellness retreat.

AND after I booked this trip, I was looking up when my favorite country singer right now, Kelsea Ballerini, was going to have a show this summer to see if I could make it. I then see she has a show in Toronto on April 13th, when I’m here. Her last show of the current tour. I was so surprised and so freakin happy!

All the stars align sometimes when we least expect it. And I listened to her songs on repeat during parts of this year when I was healing from a heartbreak so it feels like a healing trip coming full circle and just doing the things that really make my heart and soul happy again. And the concert and her album “Patterns” she says “is about taking inventory of self and life as it is, moving through the things that need changing, and celebrating the wins along the way.”

Couldn’t be more perfect for now. And another one of my favorite artists for yoga playlists, Bon Iver, also came out with a new album yesterday. So I will be playing Bon Iver and Kelsea nonstop this trip - so much love.

I’m only going on my second day here so far but I love Toronto already. It’s been so easy to get around and the people are so friendly! I feel calmer and more grounded and have had some really fulfilling conversations with some people I’ve met.

Traveling with friends is always fun but traveling solo is such an experience that I love too, in a much different way. To do exactly what I want in every moment. My bag was basically just filled with workout clothes, running shoes, one jumpsuit for the concert, books and journals. And, of course my red light mask too…

And one other thing this year has reminded me is how important it is to be kind to others because you just never know what someone is going through or how they’re really feeling. It’s so easy to not want to fully open up to others and to pretend like we’re strong on the outside even during the weak moments but life isn't always easy and we need each other. Even a smile to a stranger can make the biggest difference. That’s all.

Now time to continue with my Toronto wellness retreat.

Namaste.